In-flight announcement translations

I seem to recall that some time ago the great George Carlin did a skit about airline announcements being weird. I offer up one of my own.

As heard last night on [Continental 1888](http://flightaware.com/live/flight/COA1888) from Houston to Seattle, after landing: “Please be careful when opening the overhead luggage compartments as contents may have shifted during flight.”

My translation: “Please be careful when opening the overhead luggage compartments, as contents probably shifted when the pilot slammed the plane down on the ground, used max autobrakes and full thrust reversers. This baby wasn’t gonna bounce.”